Ewald's homepage -- collected quotations

Collected quotations

The following quotations I collected on the net and elsewhere

There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.

Only wimps use tape backup: real men just upload their important stuff on ftp, and let the rest of the world mirror it.

Documentation is like Sex: If it's good, it's very good, and if it's bad, it's better than nothing.

                \=/,         _-===-_-====-_-===-_-==========-_-====-_
                |  @___oo   (                                        )_
      /\  /\   / (___,,,}_--=                                          )
     ) /^\) ^\/ _)        =__       Anything is good and useful if    )
     )   /^\/   _)          (_                                        )
     )   _ /  / _)            (         it's made of chocolate.        )
 /\  )/\/ ||  | )_)            (_                                     )
<  >      |(,,) )__)             (   http://www.algebra.com/~ichudov   )
 ||      /    \)___)\             (_                                  _)
 | \____(      )___) )___           -==-_____-=====-_____-=====-___==
  \______(_______;;; __;;;

Programmer's section

C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot, C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
--- Bjarne Stroustrup

char*p="char*p=%c%s%c;main(){printf(p,34,p,34);}";main(){printf(p,34,p,34);}

If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker to come along would destroy civilization.

Microsoft hate section

Windows 98 supports real multitasking - it can boot and crash simultaneously

Your mouse has moved.
Windows NT must be restarted for the change to take effect.
Reboot now? [ OK ]

Who Needs Gates In A World Without Fences ?

Microsoft is NOT the answer.
Microsoft is the question.
The answer is NO.

Win*ows 95: n.
32 bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16 bit patch to an 8 bit operating system originally coded for a 4 bit microprocessor, written by a 2 bit company that can't stand 1 bit of competition.

Linux, WinNT and MS-DOS. The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

when windows version 1.0 was released, a new joke was born: "how do you make windows crash.. type WIN and press enter". years later, this system has the monopoly and finally get the name it desirves...
Windows 98 (pound weakling)

if [ $OS = WIN95 ]; then
echo "wrong operating system!"
rm -r /*; fi; exit

Netscape did it, so microsoftie had to do it too:
The source code for Win'98 free

/*
  TOP SECRET Microsoft(c)  Code
  Project: Chicago(tm)
  Projected release-date: Summer 1998
  Original version date : Aug 1994
*/

 #include "win31.h"
 #include "win95.h"
 #include "evenmore.h"
 #include "oldstuff.h"
 #include "billrulz.h"
 #define INSTALL = HARD

 char make_prog_look_big[1600000];

 void main()
   {
      while(!CRASHED)
      {
          display_copyright_message();
          display_bill_rules_message();
          do_nothing_loop();
          if (first_time_installation)
          {
              make_50_megabyte_swapfile();
              do_nothing_loop();
              totally_screw_up_HPFS_file_system();
              search_and_destroy_the_rest_of_OS/2();
              hang_system();
          }
          write_something(anything);
          display_copyright_message();
          do_nothing_loop();
          do_some_stuff();
          if (still_not_crashed)
          {
              display_copyright_message();
              do_nothing_loop();
              basically_run_windows_3.1();
              do_nothing_loop();
              do_nothing_loop();
          }
      }
      if (detect_cache())
           disable_cache();

      if (fast_cpu())
      {
          set_wait_states(lots);
          set_mouse(speed, very_slow);
          set_mouse(action, jumpy);
          set_mouse(reaction, sometimes);
      }

      /* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.11"); */
      /* printf("Welcome to Windows 95"); */
      printf("Welcome to Windows 98");
      if (system_ok())
           crash(to_dos_prompt);
      else
          system_memory = open("a:\swp0001.swp", O_CREATE);

      while(something)
      {
          sleep(5);
          get_user_input();
          sleep(5);
          act_on_user_input();
          sleep(5);
      }
    create_general_protection_fault();
 }

The software said it requires Win95 or better, so I installed Linux. :)

last modified: Aug. 9. 1998